How to Make Dating in Mexico a Success

If you are going to be traveling for an extended time in Mexico or planning on living in Mexico for a while, as a single person you might end up dating. While there is less of a chance you meet a foreigner and start dating, there is a greater chance you meet a Mexican and you start getting to know each other. What things are particular to Mexico in regard to dating? What things should you know before you start dating? And what things do you need to think about in the long run dating a Mexican?

Since there is not a lot of information online, we wanted to write this article to give some important differences in dating and to help those searching for a mate to be better prepared for the cultural differences and things you will encounter while dating in Mexico. 

Dating by Age in Mexico

Each age group is going to be a bit different. So here are the age groups we will break it down to and then you can see more detailed information for whichever category you fall into. 

Young children of foreigners ages up to 19-Years-Old

If you have moved to Mexico and have children, you are happy to see them adjust and make new friends. Eventually they will start dating, so how it is for young foreign children in Mexico? The results will depend on how good their Spanish is and how many years they have been in Mexico. If they do not speak much Spanish, it will be limiting in meeting more people.  Some parents living in Mexico deal with depressed teens because it is hard to make friends, let alone dating. 

Some young people that have partially grown up in Mexico, adapt very easily and often make friends easily. If children go to school in Mexico, most other young people see them as friends and neighbors rather than foreigners. The newer generations of Mexicans are more accustomed to integration and have more in common with other youth from other countries. 

The Young Adult Aged 20-30 Years Old

This group is mainly young working professional. This age group is perhaps the easiest group to find dates. The reason for this is this is the time in many people’s life where people are looking to partner up. In fact, the average age for Mexicans to get married is around 22-24 years old. The average age in Mexico to get married is very young when compared to other countries. For example, Canada has an average age around 30 and France somewhere between 37-39 years old. 

It should be noted that Mexicans that get married early in life often come from lower social economic groups. For one, it is customary to marry in your early 20’s, and second there often are not many opportunities, so stating a family is a plan. Young people looking to date should be aware that there might be an expectation of wedding bells soon after dating. 

The Maturing Adult Aged 31-45 Years Old

This group might be a digital nomad that has the ability to travel and work or it might even be a divorcee that moves to Mexico. This group will have an easier time than those older than they are but a little harder time than those younger group. The dating pool gets a little slimmer because, not only do many marry young in Mexico, also as we age, we know more of what we like in a mate, and we have a narrower view of available partners. 

Mature Adult Aged 46 Plus Years Old

This might be the hardest category for people to date. Usually by the time you are this age in life, you are fairly set in your ways, and it becomes harder to meld two lives together. You know what you like and have narrowed down the dating pool considerably. Most of the time these are people that have dated, perhaps have been married and may even have adult kids.  

Often this group finds other foreigners that have a similar history and start dating. The hardest category in this age group are women looking for men. Mexican men in this age category are from another generation and it is not as common to be in a mixed nationality relationship. 

Dating in Touristic Destination in Mexico

Mexico is a large country and some parts are rural, some cities and some places are tourist destinations. Tourist destinations are often very transient places where people come and go.  It should be noted that places like Puerto Vallarta, Tulum, Playa Del Carmen and Cabo are all places where people tend to be less likely to settle down in a relationship. With that being said, many younger Mexicans date more casually in these locations. This can be fine if you are looking to date casually, but if you are looking for something more serious, it will be a little harder to find someone to do that in touristic locations. 

There is a saying among locals in touristic destinations, when they see someone, they will say “This person is a 4 in high season and 8 in low season”. that might sound callous, but locals know there are more options when it is high season, and it does highlight the casualness to dating in some areas. It is not impossible to find love in touristic parts of Mexico, but it will be harder to sift through who is looking for something more meaningful. 

How to Bridge the Language Divide

No matter who you are and your experience with learning Spanish, you will have some communication divides. Even if you are fully fluent in Spanish, there still are a lot of expressions and words used in Mexico that are different. There are also reginal differences that you will have to learn when living in one part of Mexico. This can present an opportunity to learn more Spanish and about Mexican culture when dating. However, unless both persons are fully bilingual and bicultural, there will be some divides to overcome. 

If you find someone that speaks English, you might end up speaking in English at home or when together. This can make it very easy for you but often hampers learning more. Often if you go out with friends or attend an event, you might feel left out or just trying to understand as much as you can and smile. 

If the person you are dating speaks some English, this can get things off to a start. As the relationship goes on though, you will have discussions, arguments and things you need to talk about that might be very hard for the person that is not speaking their native tongue. Not being able to fully communicate can get frustrating and in a worst-case scenario, it leads to a breakdown in communication and possible the termination of the relationship. So, if you are the type of person that thinks it might take a while to learn Spanish, or you know you will have a hard time learning, it is best to think about meeting someone fluent in English. 

All is not lost if you cannot speak fluent Spanish. If you have a base and are committed to learning more or taking classes, this in addition to dating a Mexican can speed the learning process. 

How to Bridge the Cultural Differences When Dating a Mexican

Mexico in general retains many traditions and its rich cultural heritage. This means that many families still participate in many traditions throughout the year. The economy, religion, history, climate and other factors have shaped life in Mexico.  This means that there will be a lot of cultural differences between you and a Mexican. It will depend on your perspective wither these are hurdles or a learning experience that will enrich your time in Mexico. Below are some tips to bridge the cultural differences when dating a Mexican. 

• It is best to learn and absorb as much as possible. This will give you a deeper understanding of things and prevent you from saying something or doing something that Mexicans might not appreciate. Of course, if you are at a stage to date someone, you will have to have some base knowledge of food, language, and traditions. If not, you are going to be in a relation where you are learning about the culture more than your partner. 
• Have open conversations about your expectations. Not only will you be learning but the person you are dating should take an interest in your culture as well. This way you both can share and have things to learn and experience. 
• Learning Spanish will open many doors to understanding the culture. 
• Realize that not all cultural differences are enjoyable. The way different culture’s view punctuality or communication can be very different, even frustrating. Some things will not make any senses to you. 
• There are many stereotypes out there, just remember these are generalizations and not specific to the person you are dating. Treat your partner as an individual and not just a representative of the Mexican culture. 
• Explore the culture together. Many Mexicans do not travel extensively. Planning trips to cultural areas or even visiting authentic restaurants together can be a bond building experience.
• Focus on what you can learn from each other rather than letting differences become obstacles.
• Celebrate the diversity in your relationship.

For more about understanding the Mexican cultural differences, see our article here. 

Racism and Classism in Mexico

If you ask a Mexican if there is racism (or classism) in Mexico, most will say no. From a foreigner’s viewpoint though, things look a bit different. There are three classes of people in Mexico. You have indigenous people, mixed Spanish decedents and indigenous people, and a more Spanish/whiter looking group. 

Many Mexicans do not cross class boundaries to date. Many times, indigenous are looked down on as being poorer and you would be very pressed to find a more Spanish looking Mexican dating a very indigenous looking person. You will also notice a pattern in advertising in Mexico where a majority of the photos used are whiter looking people. 

While many foreigners do not experience these prejudices, it is something to aware of because it is one of the reason some Mexicans are open to dating foreigners.  

Why some Mexicans Like Dating Foreigners

A very popular meme on Facebook is an indigenous Mexican guy with a white girl. It is popular because many Mexican young men find this idea attractive.  You can blame this on advertising, movies, and the media for promoting some ideas of the standard of beauty. In exchange, some foreigners see Mexicans as exotic, a Latin lover, and other stereotypical descriptions.

For the most part, Mexicans are very welcoming of outsiders. Sometimes even going out of their way to make foreigners feel good or welcomed. Most of the time it will be 

Some might wonder if people just look for the financial advantages to dating a foreigner over the “love” part. In general, this is a small minority that look to pursue financial benefits from a relationship. However, there can be a financial divide in a relationship, and we will talk about this next. 

Financial divide in Mexico

Statistically someone that moves to Mexico will be in a position of financial security. After all, there is a high bar of financial requirements for the temporary and permanent visa for Mexico. This means that if you move to Mexico, you will be in higher social economic class than most Mexicans. This is perfectly fine, but it does mean you have some things to think about. Ask yourself, have I ever dated someone who has considerably fewer financial means? Most people have not done so before. So, this means there will be some issues that you have not thought about before. 

One of the most fought over thing in relationships is money. How much to spend on things, how much to save, how to divide money, and so many other issues with money. Since there is a possibility to start dating someone that might not have the same financial funds as you, how will you deal with this? This is something you should plan BEFORE you start dating. Some will say, “If I am in love, it will not matter“. This is usually what someone says that has never been in the position before and only finds out later that it can become an issue. 

Here is how some people deal with the financial divide. 

• Match the spending of the person you are dating. If you decide to move in together, you can plan on splitting most things and make a budget for the household. This means you might have to cut back a little, but it is a good way to learn how Mexicans actually live and live on their wages. Of course, if there is something like a trip that you both want to go on, you might plan on helping out with some of the extra expenses. 
• Sit down and make a plan. Knowing what the other person makes, understanding cost of living expenses, and also what debt there is, will all lead to making a good plan/agreement. This might mean taking a proportional percentage of each person to cover expenses based on what is made. So, if you make more, you pay 65% of the expenses and the other person 35%. 

Important note: It is always good to remember that not everyone has had the same opportunities as you. You may be coming from a country that has given you a lot of opportunity. Many times, it is not because someone is not working hard, it is just because they have not had the advantages that others have had. 

Where to meet people for dating?

This is an issue that many people have in Mexico. Since most foreigners tend to move to sunny tourist destinations, it means filtering out the tourists and just trying to find normal people that live in the area that are open to dating.  Here are some options to meet other singles. 

• Join Facebook groups. Sometimes there are local singles groups or young working professionals. 
• Pursue your hobbies. If you are doing something you like, you will possibly meet someone with the same interest as you. Do you like helping animals? Donate time to help animals. Do you like giving back to the community? Maybe sign up to help clean the beach. These are just some examples of how your hobbies can open doors to meet others. 
• Join a gym or fitness class. This can be a good way to meet people, especially locals or people that live in the area. It might take a little time, but it is fairly easy to start a basic conversation if you see the same people each day. 
• Look for events that are social. Is there a new art gallery opening? Is there a local market to visit? Perhaps salsa lessons where people have to be paired with someone. 
• At work or School. Young people have options to meet people in school or university. If you are working on Mexico and in an office setting, it can be an easy way to get to know people over time. They are already close to your social economic group, and you have some things in common already which makes dating easier. 
• Instagram. Really! Since you can search by place and see a lot of photos of a person’s life and what they like, this is a way to search and send some messages. It is even a way to search in nearby locations.   
• Dating apps. Most are not used as much in Mexico as other countries, but they still might offer a starting point.

For more about meeting people, see our article that deals particularly with Playa Del Carmen. 

Places to avoid meeting people in Mexico

This advice is for people that already live in Mexico and want to meet someone. 

• Clubs and bars. For one, you cannot really talk in these places with the loud music. These places also attract people that are looking more for a short-term hookup or casual dating. If this is what you are looking for, this can be sufficient, but for those looking for something more serious, it is not the best place to meet people. In tourist towns clubs and bars are filled with many tourists and mixed in locals. For single women (and some guys), it should be noted that like many bars in the world, care should be taken not to take pills from people and watch your drinks. 
• Tours and touristic attractions. These activities can be fun, but not only are many people traveling in groups, but they are also only in the area for a short time. Don’t waste time and money for the very slim chance you will meet someone and fall in love. 

Benefits of dating a Mexican

Not that people specifically look to date one nationality, but the odds of dating a Mexican in Mexico is much higher. Dating a local can increase your knowledge of traditions, expressions, and give you a great insight into how Mexican society works. Dating a Mexican as opposed to those that come as a couple to Mexico, will give you a much greater insight and understanding of how things work and more details of why some things are the way they are in Mexico. It can also open you up to many new social events and you will have a chance to meet other locals and have a wider range of friends.

If you have only been in Mexico a short while, having someone that is bilingual or just fluent and knows how things work, it can be very helpful to have someone you mostly trust. Having someone to help you with things like setting up your cable or call a doctor’s office for you, can be a lifesaver especially if your Spanish is not the best. However, this should only be a benefit for short while. You don’t want to cap your growing and learning by always relying on your partner to help out with basic things that you can eventually do by yourself. Of course, you want your relationship to based on love and not the benefits, those are just extra good things that come with dating. 

Conclusion 

Dating in Mexico will present many new things to learn. There is a reason there are less intercultural relationships in the world. It can seem exciting and interesting, but there are many cultural hurdles to overcome. We often gravitate toward people with similar backgrounds and experience so we can share a life with them. If you are in Mexico or coming to Mexico and looking to date, we hope this article has given you some insight into how the landscape is. 

We could have made this article longer, but these are some of the major things to think about. If you have experiences or tips about dating in Mexico, let us know in the comments below. 

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Mr.Yucatan

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